460 words, 2 minute read time
When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, “skinny” was always the answer I had in mind. If I could go back in time, I would tell little me the answer was always “myself”.
From an extremely body-conscious little girl
“Going hard on snacks huh?” “Try this weight loss method” “Haram! Kermelik…”
Growing up as the chubby kid in Lebanon, I realized at an early age that when it comes to your weight, Lebanese make the best critics!
The neighbor, the distant relative I only saw once a year, and even the aunty that changed my diaper when I was a baby – no aunty… I don’t remember you – all pitied the belly sticking out of my strawberry shortcake crop top.
The “poor little thing” never really considered her little belly a problem until she realized she was supposed to.
Constant exposure to those comments gradually distorted my body image and relationship with food.
I slowly started cutting out all the foods that were synonymous with happiness. Just like one would expect, I ended up losing the “extra” weight. My clothes fit me like a glove, and people congratulated me for becoming healthier. However, was I any happier now that I was skinnier? Not really...
To a young lady embracing her unique self
Here are three tips I relied on to build a healthier body image:
- Speaking up
Criticism isn’t always that bad. However, when it turns from constructive to destructive, this is when I had to put an end to it. I stood up for myself by voicing my feelings. I showed people who’s the boss of my life, who has a say in it, and who well…should mind their own business! I learned the hard way that the only person who should think highly of me is well- myself!
- Being kind to myself
I know that being kind to yourself is easier said than done. I struggled at first. Every time I talk badly about myself, I ask myself: Would I talk to my pet like this? Just like how we shower our pets with love, we are also worthy of the praise.
- Embracing my flaws
When I stopped being at war with my body, I realized that true beauty comes from being unapologetically yourself. I was meant to be loved as a whole, cellulite included. My loved ones have always loved me for who I am and won’t love me more now that I count my calories.
How about you, dear readers, how do you overcome your insecurities?
I’m sure a lot of people have heard the same types of comments at least once in their life. It takes a lot of courage and maturity to ignore them and concentrate on what makes you happy, and you did it! Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt personal story. It’s truly something you should be proud of.
I’m pleased to know it resonated with you! I appreciate your positive response.
Inspirational
Thank You!
This really hit home. It’s powerful to read about someone else’s journey with body image and how external comments can shape our perceptions. Thank you for putting these feelings into words.
Your kind words mean a lot! I’m thrilled you enjoyed reading my blog!
Thank you for such an honest and heartfelt post. You put powerful words to a struggle many of us silently go through. Learning to love ourselves despite criticism especially from those who are supposed to support us is a brave act. I’m really proud of your courage. It’s so important that you stay true to yourself even when those around you make you question who you are. Your voice matters, your story matters, and you matter.
I’m beyond grateful for your support. Your kindness warmed my heart!
It’s a courage from you to talk about very serious story that touches you !! I’m so proud of you for what you achieve and who you became! Always remember to love your self as you are and to do what makes you happy and what fits with your body and not what other people want ! It’s your life and not someone else . GOOD LUCK
What a heartfelt advice! Thank you Sandra, I truly appreciate it.
Wawwwwww…. This is so inspiring. You’re literally a queen for having done that and for showing the world that they are worthy of not just others’ love, but most importantly THEIR OWN love.
Thank you so much Yara! Your support means the world!
What a beautifully written and insightful reflection. The wisdom you’ve gained and shared about prioritizing your own opinion and practicing self-compassion is profound.
This is a message that needs to be heard by so many. Thank you for your vulnerability and for empowering others.
Thank you so much for your feedback!
This resonated deeply. Despite the early criticisms from the Lebanese aunties (we all know them!), your journey to self-acceptance is truly inspiring.
Couldn’t agree more! I struggled all my life with what people thought they are”advising” me on. What about “ming your own” and “live and let live”.
Social and cultural pressures are the main reasons why people are not happy about their lives anymore.
Well said Nour! So proud of you. Can’t wait to read more of this.
Thank you for sharing your story! I’m grateful for your sweet comment.
You should be proud of yourself
Thank you so much Joelle! Your kind words put a smile on my face.
This post is really meaningful and important for a lot of young people especially girls, societal pressure doesn’t let kids embracing themselves which should be totally encouraged and accepted.
Couldn’t agree more!
As lebanese girls this is what we hear on a daily basis. before even saying hello to someone, we can hear people wisper “nas7ane” or “da3fene” on both sides we cant get rid of people’s words. “La hek mnekhlas w la hek mnekhlas”. Thats why really loving yourself is the only true method. Love your words ❤️
Indeed, it’s up to us to make a change. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
This truly is an important message–for little girls especially, but everyone else as well! Celebrate your bodies and even focus body neutrality rather than positivity: We need to take care of our bodies not for aesthetic purposes, but because they’re the vessels through which we experience the world.
You can’t say fairer than that!
This resonated deeply. Your description of the Lebanese aunties and their “helpful” observations brought a big smile to my face. I really appreciated your point about speaking up for yourself; it’s a lesson many of us need to learn. Those comments that we hear on a daily basis from relatives, such as “ma tekle hay w kele hay mnih elik” and “yi leh zeelte mene bede maslehtik” (they all claim to want the best for you), can unfortunately trigger younger girls and cause a negative body image. Hopefully, future generations will understand the impact a simple word can have. I truly believe that everyone has a mirror at home, so they can clearly see what’s going on with their bodies.
Exactly! People are also mirrors and shouldn’t tear others down.
One of a kind! Your post resonates with many people, including me! I love the part where you talked about healing and overcoming the burden of wanting to be skinny. Can’t wait to read more posts!
I truly appreciate your kind words, thank you so much!
Wow wow wow. This topic needs to be discussed more in our society that is fueled by stress , anxiety and micro-hatred. This text sets a path towards healing, and it’s not even the best part of it.
What i absolutely loved were the little stories that are so relatable to us all , perhaps in different versions but we can all understand and feel , most of all– what this meant.
Bravo Nour, chapeau, loved it , your writing is human and talks to the heart , keep it up.
Glad you enjoyed reading my blog post as much as I enjoyed writing it! Your encouragement means a lot!
wawww i loveee❤️❤️