503 words, 3 minute read time
As I prepare to embark on a new journey abroad, my heart clings to the place I call home—Lebanon. Beyond its breathtaking landscapes, it’s the simple yet irreplaceable joys that I know will tug at my soul the most. Three things, in particular, keep playing in my mind, filling me with warmth. Let’s take a journey through them together, shall we?
1- Family: The Toughest Farewell
Family comes first on this list. The thought of leaving weighs heavy on my heart. My siblings have already taken their leap of faith abroad, and now it’s my turn. I’ll deeply miss the family gatherings on every religious occasion—the warmth, the laughter, and the beautiful chaos that comes with them. I’ll long for the ritual of going out with my mom for coffee. Those long, soul-baring conversations where I pour my heart out like ink on a blank page, erasing doubts and rewriting my path with her wisdom. Not to forget the road trips with my dad, the booming music, and the carefree soul I once was. When life felt light and worries were just distant whispers.
2- Friends: Forever in My Heart
My friends, next on the list, stand patiently in line, waiting to be missed. I know I’ll ache for the comforting certainty that someone always has my back, reminding me that it’s okay not to be okay. There’s a bittersweet sting in knowing I’ll miss their birthdays and the milestones we were supposed to celebrate together. It feels as if life is a train pulling away, carrying the people I love while I watch from afar, left only with memories and distant admiration. However, more than missing them as friends, I’ll long for the rare and irreplaceable comfort of being completely myself—unfiltered, understood, and free.
3- Food: A Feast for The Soul
Food comes last on this ever-growing list, one so long that I could never write it all here. Since we’re celebrating Easter and Eid together, my heart already aches for maamoul, the beloved treat made with love and tradition. I can almost smell its warm, buttery aroma filling the house after a long day of meticulous preparation. It would seep into my soul, wrapping me in nostalgia, gratitude, and just a touch of longing. And then there’s batata harra (golden, crispy, perfectly spiced fried potatoes). It’s a reminder of the simple joys shared, infused with a little kick of spice and a lot of warmth. And the list goes on… each flavor a memory, each bite a piece of home.
Although I’m seeking better opportunities, the truths in my colleague Jana Haddad’s blog, Come Back Home, still resonate with me. Now that you all know my longings, I want to turn to those of you who are living abroad. What are the things you miss the most but never really considered before leaving? And to those of you who are still here, resisting it all, what do you think would you miss the most if you ever leave?
Leaving is never easy, it hurts! But sometimes, that pain is what allows us to shine even brighter. I completely relate to what you’ve shared; this internal conflict weighs on our mind constantly.
For me, the hardest part of leaving would be my parents. Could I truly live without them nearby? I honestly don’t know.
I sincerely hope that, whatever path you choose, it leads to the opportunities and happiness you deserve, whether here or elsewhere.
Thank you for your wishes. It is indeed a difficult decision to take, I am glad you related to this blog post.
Such a lovely piece (I can relate!). I’ll be going through the same transition soon, and it’s comforting to see a fellow colleague on the same path. Apart from what you’ve mentioned, I think what I’ll miss most about Lebanon are the little things, like the way the morning sun gently warms the balconies, the scent of thyme and anise tea drifting through teta’s kitchen, the sound of a ka’ak vendor calling out his daily offers, the warmth of a shopkeeper who remembers your name, etc. Wishing you all the best as you step into this new chapter! May it bring you fulfilment and fresh beginnings. Always here to exchange stories and insights whenever you need! 🙂
Thank you! The little things truly leave the deepest mark. Wishing you a smooth transition too!
Émigrer… Une opportunité que je n’ai jamais saisie il y a 35 ans, et aujourd’hui, je te vois prendre ce chemin avec un mélange de tristesse et de fierté. Ton départ crée un vide, mais aussi une immense joie de te voir bâtir un avenir. Où que tu sois, tu porteras en toi l’amour du Liban, et sache que mon amour, lui, n’as pas de frontières. Que ton chemin soit rempli de succès et de bonheur. Va, vis, aime… et souviens-toi toujours que je suis là, le coeur battant pour toi, où que tu sois.
Tes mots me touchent en plein cœur. Ton amour et ton soutien me suivent partout, peu importe la distance. Je porterai toujours avec moi tout ce que tu m’as appris et donné. Je t’aime infiniment.
As a lebanese living abroad, I can totally relate to this. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of what we feel every time.
I appreciate your words. No matter the distance, Lebanon remains a part of us.
Thank you for this amazing article, and for reminding us that no matter where we end up, there is no place like home!
Thank you for your kind words!
I remembered now what I was thinking back in the days. It was a tough decision leaving home in search for an opportunity. I made a small list and put it on a balance: what I’ll lose vs what I’ll gain. It turned out that I couldn’t stand to lose what you mentioned and decided to stay.
I wish you to be happy for whatever decision you take in your life.
Thank you for sharing this. Staying is just as big of a decision as leaving, and it takes a lot of heart. I truly appreciate your kind wishes, and I hope happiness follows you wherever you go.
I’ve spent my whole life here, and I know this time is almost up. I realized just how deeply this place is woven into who I am. No matter where I go, Lebanon will always stay with me — in the memories I carry, the habits I’ve picked up, and the way I see the world. Your words reminded me of that in the most beautiful way. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt perspective!
Thank you for your kind words! Lebanon will always be a part of us, no matter where we go. Wishing you all the best on your journey!
I can deeply feel every word you’re saying.
Your gratefulness and bond with your country and your people is something I really admire.
Of course, family, friends, and food are at the top of the list, I’m also sure that the little things the country offers you will be missed just as much: the spontaneous outings, the familiar faces in the neighborhood, the way the city hums with life even at night, those little things so precious, that i could never imagine myself abandoning.
I think these are the reasons I’m still here.
Wish you all the best.
I deeply appreciate your words. It is indeed the little things that make home irreplaceable. Wishing you all the best as well!
Je ressens profondément chacun de tes mots, si merveilleux, si bien choisis, si bien pesés parce que si authentiquement vrais, découlant de l’honnêteté de ton coeur, ils résonnent lourdement dans les recoins de mon être, et me font goûter, déjà, l’amertume d’une tristesse dont les jours ne sont pas encore venus. Mais je me dis toujours que, bien que la distance soit grande, chaque souvenir, chaque parfum, chaque visage qui te manquera te rappellera la profondeur de tes racines, ces racines si étroitement entremêlées à ton être qu’elles ressortent dans chaque lettre de ton message. Elles se faufileront dans les poches de ta valise, ces poches qui s’ouvriront quand tu t’y attendras le moins, quand un rayon de soleil prendra tes yeux par surprise, ou qui ne s’ouvriront pas, même quand tu les forceras à s’ouvrir, quand un nom, un parfum, un visage de cette ancienne vie t’échappera et demeurera pendu au bout de ta langue, comme ce temps qui te fera glisser jusqu’au premier matin, quand le rétroviseur glissant de pluie t’avait fait chanceler.
Aujourd’hui, alors que mon propre départ demeure lointain, je l’appréhende, je promène mon regard sur ces rues dont les courbes retracent celles de mon sourire et dont les couleurs moroses reflètent celles de mes tristes jours, et je me demande comment je pourrais vivre à nouveau, si ce n’est dans mon Liban, comment je pourrais mémoriser à nouveau, comme le revers de ma main, un pays qui ne soit pas celui-là ? J’écris Liban et j’écris ma famille, mes amis, et mes plats préférées, j’écris aussi la tendresse, l’amour, l’enfance, la mélancolie et un attachement insecouable, mais je m’écris aussi, j’écris moi-même et tout ce qui m’a construit, et je me dis que quitter le Liban, c’est me quitter, me trahir, m’abandonner à errer seule dans ces rues où des vieillards surveillent leurs petits-enfants, une cigarette dans une main, un paquet de cartes dans l’autre, alors que leurs parents travaillent à l’étranger. Et je sais que si ma vie se poursuivra dehors, elle finira au Liban, mais je serai toujours honteuse, désolée, navrée, d’avoir vécu le noyau de ma vie hors du pays qui m’a donné la vie, qui me l’a apprise et m’en a fait tomber éperdument amoureuse.
Je souris pourtant, et je t’invite à sourire avec moi, en me disant que le Liban est souvent un pays de départ mais toujours un pays de retour, on y retournera, on retournera dans ce Liban, même sans vraiment y retourner, car le Liban nous a si profondément marqué que ces traces persisteront bien après le décollage de l’avion.
Vos mots sont d’une beauté poignante, marqués d’une sincérité qui résonne au plus profond de moi. Ce que vous avez écrit traduit l’attachement indélébile que nous portons à notre terre, à nos souvenirs, à ce Liban qui façonne chaque fibre de notre être.
Vous avez raison, le Liban n’est pas seulement un lieu, c’est une empreinte en nous, une chaleur qui persiste bien au-delà des frontières.
Alors oui, sourions ensemble, en sachant que, peu importe où la vie nous mène, le Liban vivra toujours en nous.
It is, indeed, the toughest decision one can make. The 3 Fs you mentioned are really what make us hesitant or uncertain when we think about this life-changing decision.
Wishing you all the best on your next journey; I’m sure you’ll succeed wherever you go!
Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words and support.
Your words touched me deeply. As a former expat, I deeply missed the little things-the charm of Lebanon is unmatched. I went to Canada to try my luck, but I could never forget Lebanon, its people, and above all, the love it holds for us. So I came back, built a life here, and found my family. I can only say that I’m grateful for it all. Lebanon is truly one of a kind, but no matter where life takes you, I hope happiness finds you in every corner and every step toward a brighter future.
Thank you for your kind words!
Beautifully said! As someone who has experienced this, I know the list of things you miss is endless. On the bright side, we’re lucky to have so many beautiful parts of our identity that we’ll always cherish and carry!
Thank you! You are right, the list of things we miss is endless, but carrying these beautiful parts of our identity with us is a gift. Home is always within us.
Well, you never stop amazing me with the way you express yourself and describe your emotions, and that makes me prouder day by day. Even though I’m physically far from home, I want to share two conclusions I’ve come to during my ongoing journey.
Everybody carries within them the right seeds. These seeds contain everything they need to grow, no matter the ground they’re planted in. And, especially as Lebanese, we have that unique ability to adapt and excel in any environment.
As for you, Joy, I’m certain that you will shine wherever you go. You will adapt, and you will find a sense of home in your new place, just as I did. But be careful, and here comes my second conclusion. Yes, you will adapt, and you will grow into a new version of yourself—one shaped by all the changes and the good things that lie within your seed. You will feel at home where you are, but it will always feel incomplete because “you” will be missing. You are who you love, and you are where you grow—the places, the voices, the smells… it’s those memories that forged the « old you. » The new you will be a better version, a more experienced one.
As for me, what I miss most are you, my family—the laughter, the deep conversations at night while we listen to our favorite music with a small glass in hand—the scent that greets me when I enter our home, and the mesmerizing beauty of the lebanese nature.
May God be with you in every step you take and every move you make. Love you ❤️
This brought tears to my eyes. You left me completely and utterly speechless. Words cannot express how grateful I am to have you by my side. You’ve always been my guide, and your wisdom reassures me that, even in change, I will find my way. I miss you more than words can say. Cheers to nights filled with laughter, our chaos, and to our good old days in new ones, inshallah.
May God always watch over you too. Love you endlessly!❤️
Resisting it all, I’m grateful for the very little things and the routine I live, whether at work, with family or friends. It all ensures the feeling of stability, safety and mostly warmth, which you’ve mentioned more than once in your words. Although life here is becoming tougher everyday and harder to handle or cope with and despite the huge immigration of Lebanese youth like you, just thinking about leaving opens the door for anxiety to kick in and hence, I start missing literally everything.. without even leaving my place. So to me, there’s no need to leave in order to miss anything, for I already miss everything…!
Emotions aside, seize the day.
Best of luck, Joy. Go shine…
To a bright future
Your words truly touched me. I completely understand how we can miss home even before leaving. The little things -routine, warmth, and familiar faces- make all the difference. Thank you for your kind wishes. I hope you always find comfort and strength in the place that holds your heart.
loved it!!! very very beautiful words✨
Thank you!
My Joy, with tears in my eyes and a big smile, I read through your sublime writing.
Thank you for sharing what my heart and mind were trying to process throughout the past couple of years… As always; I found a refuge, a safe place in between your heartfelt words.
You said it all, in a powerful and unfiltered way.
Between answering your reflective question and expressing how PROUD I AM OF YOU; my heart skipped a beat and jumped to hug YOU, my other half.
See you soon, and your sister will always have your back wherever you shine.
My dearest, your words wrapped around my heart like the warmest embrace. Knowing that my words could offer you even the smallest refuge means the world to me. You have always been my safe place too, my anchor, my other half. Your love and support are a constant source of strength, and I carry them with me wherever I go. I can’t wait to see you soon and hug you tight. ❤️
This article is incredibly beautiful and profoundly meaningful. The way you capture such deep emotions is truly touching. It brought tears to my eyes
Bravo Joy! Keep up the amazing work!
I appreciate your words! Thank you so!
You had me craving Batata Harra. Seriously though, as I read your words, I’m even more convinced that staying here and not studying abroad was the right decision to make.
I totally get that! I’m glad this blog post resonates with you!
My beautiful niece, I miss you!
Your words hit so close to home, bringing back the ache that never really fades. You have such a beautiful way of bringing emotions to life, and reading this felt like stepping into your heart.
Leaving Lebanon was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make—not just leaving the land that raised me, my life, my parents and my friends, but also leaving my own children behind. While it’s usually the children who leave their parents to build their future, I found myself doing the opposite—making the heartbreaking decision to leave my children to secure a better future for them. The day I left, I felt like I was being torn in two—one part of me boarding that plane, the other staying behind with them. Every milestone I miss, every hug I can’t give, every moment I long to be there—it’s a pain that never eases.
What you wrote carries so much depth, love and honesty, touching on a pain that so many of us, including myself, know too well.
Love you.
My dearest aunt, your words moved me deeply. You are the embodiment of resilience and unconditional love, making unimaginable sacrifices for those you hold dear. No distance can ever diminish the love and strength you’ve given. I miss you so much and cherish you always. Love you endlessly.
Very beautiful words! I was smiling while reading every sentence… nothing compares to home ✨
Thank you so much!
Thank you for sharing your feelings in such a vulnerable way! I can relate to everything you wrote but I’ve never thought of it as this: the 3 Fs! When I was in my second year of my BA, I was an exchange student in Paris. Being abroad is fun and all but there was something tugging at my heart, I couldn’t quite pinpoint the source of this uneasiness. I realized later on that, despite how fascinating life abroad is, nothing tops the maamoul and the batata harra. This was an enthralling eye-opener for me. I hope that, wherever we go in the future, we’ll always find our way back to the one place that will inevitably greet us with open arms: Home.
That is such a beautiful reflection—thank you for sharing your experience so openly! No matter where life takes us, I hope we always find comfort in the little things that remind us of where we come from.
Amazing and so beautifully written! The words flow so nicely, and every sentence feels rich and expressing our home exactly !
Thank you! It means a lot!
I liked the personal touch you added to your post: the 3 Fs! Family, friends, and food are definitely on top! No matter how homesick we may feel abroad, I’m sure that we will always cherish the moments we lived back home❤️
Thank you so much!
Leaving home may be the most heart-shattering experience anyone may go through, and it takes a strong courage to do so. And that’s you! You’re never afraid of trying new things despite every hurdle you may come across along the way, and you are always aiming for higher because monotony just does not cut it. As you are setting the grounds for a new journey, always remember that wherever you may be, and despite the distance, you remain in the hearts of those who love and cherish you. Best of luck for everything!
Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words! I really appreciate your support, and knowing that I have such wonderful people cheering me on makes this journey even more special. No matter where life takes me, I’ll always cherish the love and connections that keep me grounded. Grateful beyond words!
I loved it !! Your blog touches all the graduates because it reflects our daily conversation! Hopefully one day we will remove the idea of leaving home so we can achieve our dreams in homeland and not abroad. Good luck in your journey and wish you all the success you deserve ❤️
Thank you! I truly appreciate your kind words and share the same hope for a future full of opportunities in Lebanon, without the struggle of leaving. Wishing you success as well!
Un article qui me fait chaud au cœur : nous avons tous un membre de notre famille qui ne se trouve pas au Liban. Tous sans exception souhaitent, quand ils reviennent, manger des plats libanais et faire des sorties la nuit, le jour, à la plage, à la montagne, avec les amis comme avant.
Merci beaucoup ! Je suis ravie que cet article vous parle. Les souvenirs et les moments passés au Liban restent inestimables, peu importe la distance.
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. This article resonates on a deeply human level, showing that no matter where we go, a piece of us will always remain in the places that have shaped us. It’s a reminder of the power of home, even when home becomes a memory. The pain of leaving is real, but so is the love and connection that continue to live on, no matter the distance. Good luck on your new journey! May you find success and happiness in every step you take.
Thank you so much for your kind words –they truly mean a lot. I deeply appreciate your wishes and send the same warmth and happiness your way!
Thank you Serena Joy for reminding us that even as we chase brighter tomorrows, it’s the gentle light of yesterday that will forever keep us warm. In every memory you carry – in the laughter of your family, the comfort of your friendships, and the flavors of home – you hold onto something sacred.
May these moments keep you alive and rooted, wherever life takes you. And when the ache of leaving feels heavy, may it always be softened by the love you carry with you – the kind of love that doesn’t fade with distance, but grows stronger in remembrance.
You’re not leaving home behind. You’re taking it with you, in your heart, in your soul, in every step you take.
Thank you for this heartfelt reminder. I will carry it with me, just as I carry the love and memories that make home so special.